Tuesday, October 20, 2015

So, the regain sucks. That's it.  Months since my last entry and that's what I have.

I attended the Obesity Action Coalition's Your Weight Matters National Convention.  I was so lucky-it was in San Antonio this year-just 30 minutes from where I live! I emailed my mom and off we went! It was a fun girl's weekend, and I feel like I learned a lot.  If anything, it felt good to be with people that are like me.  They eat like me (opening up the wrap, eating just the meat inside).  They had a lot of the same concerns as me (REGAIN).  It was a great experience-from the people that were attending, to the businesses that were at the expo, to the presenters-awesome!!

But at the end of the weekend-still me. Still worrying about the regain.  I gotta figure this out somehow.  I will post again about the convention-I learned some really interesting stuff there.  But right now I'm struggling a bit.
Let's talk numbers.  After surgery I lost 110 pounds.  After a bit, 8 pounds creeped back on, then 15.  I paused there for a bit.  I was okay at that weight-I was doing a bit of soul searching, trying to decide if I was going to freak out about 15 pounds when I went back to work.
I went back to work after staying at home for 9 years with my kiddos.  The job was meant to be-I couldn't have planned the logistics of going back to work after so long-it had to be meant to be!  Maybe that can be another post, I don't know.  My point here is that I went back to work three years ago.  And have since gained 35 more pounds.  That's a 50 pound regain, for those that have lost track. Ugh.  50 pounds.
When I was looking into this surgery, I asked a doctor about the regain after surgery.  I remember so clearly that he said that the regain happens-it's part of it.  He said that if a person loses a lot of weight, then gains a percentage of it back, it can feel devastating. However, he was quick to point out, the health benefits of the weight that you are still down cannot be discounted.  In other words, I am still down 60 pounds-still a great achievement and way better than weighing what I did.
Most days I can show myself some grace and still feel proud of myself.  I can see that I am still in a good place.  I can still shop in "normal" stores, although it isn't as fun as it was 50 pounds ago.

So I've regained. That's the ugly truth.  Now for the plan..........................